Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Geek Central: Tech Apparel for Spoiled Trust-Fund Babies



You know, it’s amazing that we don’t have flying cars yet and we’re not just saying that because the movies told us we’d have them by now. The reason I find it so perplexing is because of the stuff I'm showing you today.

Some of the items and implants literally allow you to control devices with your mind! No kidding. Now, if technology has advanced that far, then why the heck can’t we have a flying whip with 22” rims?

"sCape? I need to talk to my homies when I`m snowboarding down the Alps! Help Me!" Well, you asked. First up to bat is the G Cell Bluetooth Glove. This baby allows for integration to your Bluetooth cellphone while you're out shredding the slopes. Sporting a speaker and microphone and a convenient vibration notifier of your incoming call, the glove is a sure fire hit with all the trust-fund spoiled rich bastards out there this winter.

"But sCape!" you say, "I need a device for when I'm not being a spoiled bastard on the hills!" Well, young spoiled bastard, I have the glove for you then. Introducing the Verva Vie Sports Gauntlet. Designed by a student at some Kiwi university, this thing is the device to wear when you're out jogging, cycling, or simply walking down the street being a spoiled trust fund baby. Equipped with an integrated heart rate and health systems monitor, GPS navigation and emergency beacon, this glove is controlled with a simple single hand user interface.

"C`mon, sCape! I don`t want to wear a glove everywhere I go!" Well, lucky for this spoiled trust fund baby, there soon will be an alternative. Introducing the delightfully futuristic Digital Tatoo Interface. Yep, that`s right. Utilizing some advanced nanotechnology and an implanted Bluetooth interface, this puppy will connect you and your trust-fund friends with the world around you. The best thing is this thing would rob it`s power from you, so when Skynet tries to kill you, it will be easier for it to take you down.

"Awesome, sCape! Now, let me control things with my mind!" Well, ok. Only because it`s so weak that you`ll surely fail. I give you the Emotiv Epoc, a mind reading device that you put on your head and control videogames and such on. Really. Shipping by Christmas 2008 this bitch has some charm.

From the Emotiv web site:

The Emotiv EPOC now makes it possible for games to be controlled and influenced by the player's mind. Engaging, immersive, and nuanced, Emotiv-inspired game-play will be like nothing ever seen before. Based on the latest developments in neuro-technology, Emotiv has developed a new personal interface for human computer interaction.

The Emotiv EPOC uses a set of sensors to tune into electric signals naturally produced by the brain to detect player thoughts, feelings and expression. It connects wirelessly with all game platforms from consoles to PCs. The Emotiv neuroheadset now makes it possible for games to be controlled and influenced by the player's mind.


Yeah. So set aside some of that trust-fund, you spoiled bastard. Here comes the gadgets.


Time for some games and related news. Starting with Metal Gear Solid 4: The Guns Of The Patriots, which finally has a release date of Q2 2008. Which, by my calculations (and of when it would seem appropriate to release it) puts it around the second Tuesday of June. Yay!

Next on the cool-news list is Haze. Ubisoft promised it before Christmas. Of 2007. They Lied. Well, now it has been confirmed to be coming for May 2008. About goddamned time. Check out the new trailer for Haze, featuring a new song from Korn.

And finally, to wrap it up, we have a release window of April 08, probably to coincide with the release of Gran Turismo 5: Prologue for the PS3`s new DualShock3 Controller. With an MSRP of &54.99 USD, this baby vibrates. Yep.

That about wraps it up, but I`m going to include these two videos that provide some more information than I porvided.


Daily Wrap Up From The Feed.


Gaming Update From X-Play.

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